Life In A Sinner's Truth By R. Cary

Life In A Sinner's Truth

By R. Cary






 Angela  

 

 

'Sickness to death', Angela say's. Her plague of existence,  

her constant denial of self and purpose. 

 

'Redemption through pain', she hears.  

 

Her needle is tightening its grip on her soul. 

 

'Purpose through pain', whispers in her ear. 

 

'In your heart of reign and terror, in your self- 

sabotage ravaging your journey with the heroine 

of your sins, you have forgotten, before you 

Were born, this is the life you chose'. 

Angela's head screams in terror. Her thoughts, this voice 

has been in her hauntings since she can remember.  

Her mom use to tell her, 'when you were a baby, you were 

always looking through me, as if someone else was there'. 

 

Not another thought, she tells herself. Only the comfort of 

her veins will speak to her now. She lays back, comfort in  

each beat is her purpose now. Her soul saturated in Satan's 

whims, in her own cemetery of forgotten losses. Her grave 

furthers, the pressure mounts, her heart ceases to care. 

Her life begins to leave her, only her needle is there to hold 

her, as Angela's story is now told. 

 

 

 

The Sinner  

 

 

That's deep enough, the earth will take care of the rest. 

His skull will dissolve with the consciousness of his act. 

Stepping forward, he takes one last look, ready 

To lay this boy, this would be man in his grave 

Ready to let the dirt of this earth… 

 

 

 

The Angel 

 

 

I tried to guide her, what did I do wrong? 

I always let her know I was there. 

I gave her my heart so she wouldn't fear. 

Was I too weak? How could I let hell win? 

Looking up, the Angel prays, 'Lord, I have failed!'. 

 

 

 

The Sinner II 

 

 

I told you to stop, I pleaded with you. 

She won't wake up, this is all your fault! 

Let this dirt become your eternal addiction 

Let you soul never leave this earth 

With just a few shovels, the sinner buries his sins 

 

 

 

Angela II 

 

 

Awaken in her sleep, her eyes open, feeling 

The peace of her new surroundings, 

Nothingness, her long sought salvation; 

Her veins easing, her desire withered, 

She moves, just slightly, raising her arm 

She can see, she can fear no more 

 

 

 

God 

 

 

I have heard your call 

There is no failure, only  

Human choice; 

But it is my will, to give 

One more breath, 

Two save two from 

Eternity in damnation 

This we be my will 

 

 

 

Angela III 

 

 

Seeking to know more, her heart hoping this is... 

She begins to step, but cannot move a heel 

Only nothingness is near, 'Dad', she peeps, 

But not even her own voice can be heard. 

Remembering occurs, 'suicide is eternal', 

Purgatory no more, this is her damnation, 

Her fiery hell, to live in her deepest desire 

As Lucifer's pride in another human’s demise 

 

 

 

The Sinner III 

 

 

Staring at the grave of his pain 

The Sinner begins to weep 

Slowly his heart is suffering 

Looking to above he asks, 'Lord, 

Oh what have I done!' 

 

 

 

Angel II 

 

 

Defying her purpose, the effect of God, 

The Angel herself cannot let go. 

If Angela cannot live, neither will she, 

Giving herself for another to live 

Is the only thing she knows. 

 

 

 

God II 

 

 

'Angela', her head only sunk into her own shame 

Accepting her fate as her own construct of hate, 

'It is and always has been your choice’, to live 

In nevermore, to live in the 3 headed beasts  

Melancholy of eternal being of nothingness,  

A haunting of your deepest fears or too, in this  

Moment, find your true self, a warrior of grace, 

As all human beings are born to be; are. 

 

When the beast arrives, only you can live 

With your heart as your shield, leaving the  

Beast with 3 heads no more; this is my gift, 

Only faith will bring you back, just one act' 

 

 

 

The Sinner IV 

 

 

Back at his daughter's bedside, the Sinner confesses; 

Angela, I am sorry, I need you, please help me, 

His shoulders falling to the floor with shame. 

 

He turns, the parents of his buried sin grab him, 

To hold him, to give him care and love 

 

'We can't find our son, but we are here for Angela 

And you, our two children need us. As they loved  

Each other, we will love each other. 

 

The sinner cannot express himself once more 

Only finding himself grieving in his Sin,  

He tries but he cannot, his eternal self  

Screaming, 'I Buried your son', but no words, 

Only his tears laying on the shoulder 

Of a family he brought his heat to hate; 

Realizing, 'I have succumbed to the bearer 

Of human hate, pain, and grief'. 

 

 

 

Angela IV 

 

 

Staring without thought or care 

Listening as the words are spoke 

In heart life begins to swell 

A rush for her veins, a new coursing 

Pulse feeding her to live 

Willing an unknown strength 

She screams for the demon beast 

to arrive, hidden in plain sight, 

3 heads now exposed, without  

Thought or purpose, she rips 

The beasts head of eternal hell 

Slamming the eternal with the  

Brutality of her force, making  

Sure in this hell, all demons will  

Hear, the mighty Angela, now  

A human angel of light 

 

Looking down, as she raises to  

Her feet, a withering Angel's 

Life lays beneath, with only a  

Smile, the angel shall love in 

Giving herself so Angela may  

Once again live, into the bowels 

Of hell, Angela watches as  

Her guardian light is dragged 

Into pieces for Hades to feed 

 

 

 

Angela V 

 

 

Awaken, Angela sees her father, broken but loved. 

The heart of her lover’s parents ease her heart. 

She slowly speaks, with care and hope 

Her eyes now gentle, reaching to her father, 

Touching him without a single word, 

'Dad, it is okay’, you may still live, tell them 

their son is dead. They will forgive you. 

This is your life to learn, if your heart will 

Repent, you can still walk through heaven's gate. 

 

 

 

The Sinner V 

 

 

The Sinner raises his head, letting the voice guide him 

But no one is there. His daughter Angela has fled. He 

Looks back at the parents of his sin, with a solemn face 

He tells his truth. Dropping to his knees, he is only  

Beginning, but in each of us, it starts with a step of faith, 

An act, a selfless giving, this is his new duty 

In human purpose, in his history, the Sinner will give.






End


Life In A Sinner's Truth


By R. Cary




 


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