Life In A Sinner's Truth By R. Cary
Life In A Sinner's Truth
By R. Cary
'Sickness to death', Angela say's. Her plague of existence,
her constant denial of self and purpose.
'Redemption through pain', she hears.
Her needle is tightening its grip on her soul.
'Purpose through pain', whispers in her ear.
'In your heart of reign and terror, in your self-
sabotage ravaging your journey with the heroine
of your sins, you have forgotten, before you
Were born, this is the life you chose'.
Angela's head screams in terror. Her thoughts, this voice
has been in her hauntings since she can remember.
Her mom use to tell her, 'when you were a baby, you were
always looking through me, as if someone else was there'.
Not another thought, she tells herself. Only the comfort of
her veins will speak to her now. She lays back, comfort in
each beat is her purpose now. Her soul saturated in Satan's
whims, in her own cemetery of forgotten losses. Her grave
furthers, the pressure mounts, her heart ceases to care.
Her life begins to leave her, only her needle is there to hold
her, as Angela's story is now told.
That's deep enough, the earth will take care of the rest.
His skull will dissolve with the consciousness of his act.
Stepping forward, he takes one last look, ready
To lay this boy, this would be man in his grave
Ready to let the dirt of this earth…
I tried to guide her, what did I do wrong?
I always let her know I was there.
I gave her my heart so she wouldn't fear.
Was I too weak? How could I let hell win?
Looking up, the Angel prays, 'Lord, I have failed!'.
The Sinner II
I told you to stop, I pleaded with you.
She won't wake up, this is all your fault!
Let this dirt become your eternal addiction
Let you soul never leave this earth
With just a few shovels, the sinner buries his sins
Awaken in her sleep, her eyes open, feeling
The peace of her new surroundings,
Nothingness, her long sought salvation;
Her veins easing, her desire withered,
She moves, just slightly, raising her arm
She can see, she can fear no more
I have heard your call
There is no failure, only
But it is my will, to give
One more breath,
Two save two from
Eternity in damnation
This we be my will
Seeking to know more, her heart hoping this is...
She begins to step, but cannot move a heel
Only nothingness is near, 'Dad', she peeps,
But not even her own voice can be heard.
Remembering occurs, 'suicide is eternal',
Purgatory no more, this is her damnation,
Her fiery hell, to live in her deepest desire
As Lucifer's pride in another human’s demise
The Sinner III
Staring at the grave of his pain
The Sinner begins to weep
Slowly his heart is suffering
Looking to above he asks, 'Lord,
Oh what have I done!'
Defying her purpose, the effect of God,
The Angel herself cannot let go.
If Angela cannot live, neither will she,
Giving herself for another to live
Is the only thing she knows.
'Angela', her head only sunk into her own shame
Accepting her fate as her own construct of hate,
'It is and always has been your choice’, to live
In nevermore, to live in the 3 headed beasts
Melancholy of eternal being of nothingness,
A haunting of your deepest fears or too, in this
Moment, find your true self, a warrior of grace,
As all human beings are born to be; are.
When the beast arrives, only you can live
With your heart as your shield, leaving the
Beast with 3 heads no more; this is my gift,
Only faith will bring you back, just one act'
The Sinner IV
Back at his daughter's bedside, the Sinner confesses;
Angela, I am sorry, I need you, please help me,
His shoulders falling to the floor with shame.
He turns, the parents of his buried sin grab him,
To hold him, to give him care and love
'We can't find our son, but we are here for Angela
And you, our two children need us. As they loved
Each other, we will love each other.
The sinner cannot express himself once more
Only finding himself grieving in his Sin,
He tries but he cannot, his eternal self
Screaming, 'I Buried your son', but no words,
Only his tears laying on the shoulder
Of a family he brought his heat to hate;
Realizing, 'I have succumbed to the bearer
Of human hate, pain, and grief'.
Staring without thought or care
Listening as the words are spoke
In heart life begins to swell
A rush for her veins, a new coursing
Pulse feeding her to live
Willing an unknown strength
She screams for the demon beast
to arrive, hidden in plain sight,
3 heads now exposed, without
Thought or purpose, she rips
The beasts head of eternal hell
Slamming the eternal with the
Brutality of her force, making
Sure in this hell, all demons will
Hear, the mighty Angela, now
A human angel of light
Looking down, as she raises to
Her feet, a withering Angel's
Life lays beneath, with only a
Smile, the angel shall love in
Giving herself so Angela may
Once again live, into the bowels
Of hell, Angela watches as
Her guardian light is dragged
Into pieces for Hades to feed
Awaken, Angela sees her father, broken but loved.
The heart of her lover’s parents ease her heart.
She slowly speaks, with care and hope
Her eyes now gentle, reaching to her father,
Touching him without a single word,
'Dad, it is okay’, you may still live, tell them
their son is dead. They will forgive you.
This is your life to learn, if your heart will
Repent, you can still walk through heaven's gate.
The Sinner V
The Sinner raises his head, letting the voice guide him
But no one is there. His daughter Angela has fled. He
Looks back at the parents of his sin, with a solemn face
He tells his truth. Dropping to his knees, he is only
Beginning, but in each of us, it starts with a step of faith,
An act, a selfless giving, this is his new duty
In human purpose, in his history, the Sinner will give.
Life In A Sinner's Truth
By R. Cary